


Seducing Pretty Girls 101 with Felix Kjellberg

by orphan_account



Category: Jelix - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF, Youtubers, septicpie - Fandom
Genre: A shitload of banter, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Jelix - Freeform, M/M, OR IS IT??, Septicpie, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Truth or Dare, beautiful ray of sunshine felix, disgusting fluff, pj ships it, sassy sean, this isn't too tropey i promise, this ship has consumed my soul in under 24 hours, who knows man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ‘Sean,’ Felix said, placing a hand in green hair, ‘is the prettiest girl here.’‘Aww!’ Sean cooed over a general noise of laughter and agreement. Without looking, Felix knew the expression he was making, and snorted a helpless laugh at the mere thought of ridiculously batting eyelashes. ‘Thank you, Felix. I’ve always wanted to be a pretty girl.’





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spideypool4life](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spideypool4life/gifts).



> my first foray into RPF! yay?
> 
> *questioningly pops champagne bottle*
> 
> no offence intended! enjoy! :)
> 
> (dedicated to CRY for shipping this with me and giving me some dang great encouragement, thank u so much :")

Felix stretched out on the sofa, one brightly socked foot propped on the tiny Ikea coffee table, the other resting on his friend Sean’s shoulder. He sipped carefully at a plastic cup of some violently pink cocktail, trying not to choke on it as he laughed at Mark. His best mate - and host of their group’s traditional yearly Christmas party - was screwing his eyes shut as his girlfriend Amy sniggered and ran mayonnaise-smeared fingers through his red hair. Truth or Dare with them was always pretty wild (and Felix would be the first to admit that a lot of that was his fault). His nipples still ached from the electric clamps and he rubbed at them with a wince, still managing to grin at Mark’s now gravity-defying hair. Sean’s shoulder was shaking under his foot as he cackled helplessly and clapped his hands together.

‘I’m _stunning_ ,’ Mark roared. Amy collapsed onto the ground and kicked her legs in the air, holding her sides. The messily arrayed circle of young adults - Mark and Amy, Felix, Sean, Ken, Mary, Brad, PJ, Emma, Marzia, and Signe - were all seated in positions of varying oddness, from Marzia perched on the back of an armchair to avoid most of the roughhousing to Ken lying sprawled under the table. 

‘I nominate Felix,’ Ken announced. Mark gave a thumbs-up of approval, and Felix heard the sound of what was definitely Ken rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Funnily enough, it didn’t make him too confident. 

Ken’s head popped out from under the table, eyebrows waggling. ‘Truth or dare, my friend?’

‘Ah, truth. Truth. Definitely truth,’ Felix said, tipping his cup. ‘No way am I trusting you with a dare.’ He was a genius. Ten out of ten avoidance. He already had tender nipples and a fabulous lumpy Christmas sweater; he didn’t want to know what Ken would come up with. 

His announcement was met with general approval, with an exclamation of ‘Ah, _pussy_ ’ coming from someone - probably Sean - and PJ dabbed for some reason. Then again, did dabbing ever really need a _reason_?

‘Gah! You pansy,’ Ken groaned. ‘I had such a good dare. Okay, truth. Truth.’ He looked around the circle, thinking. Felix definitely felt like he’d dodged a bullet there. ‘Who…’ Ken paused for effect- ‘is the prettiest girl here?’

Immediately knowing his answer, Felix drained the rest of his cup and threw it aside with a dramatic _ahh_. He leaned forwards. ‘Sean,’ he said, placing a hand in green hair, ‘is the prettiest girl here.’

‘Aww!’ Sean cooed over a general noise of laughter and agreement. Without looking, Felix knew the expression he was making, and snorted a helpless laugh at the mere thought of ridiculously batting eyelashes. ‘ _Thank_ you, Felix. I’ve always wanted to be a pretty girl.’

Felix jerked his chin and puckered an air-kiss, before roughly ruffling Sean’s hair. He could see Marzia laughing breathlessly into her cup, and felt a warm burst at the sight. They hadn’t worked out as a couple, but he still felt so much love for her he felt he might explode. Seeing her so happy was always awesome.

The game continued. It escalated over the course of an hour or so, becoming louder and more ridiculous as midnight ticked around. Somehow, Sean had ended up sprawling in Felix’s lap, kicked back comfortably against his chest; something to do with a dare, Sean’s kryptonite (tickling), and a scrambling escape from Signe’s wiggling fingers. Not that Felix minded - Sean wasn’t heavy, and despite the fact that Felix was going half-deaf from his signature loudness it was always nice to be so close to a best friend. His sides and cheeks hurt from laughing too much, and the scene was pretty much insane. Mark’s red hair was sticking straight up, streaked with mayonnaise; PJ was making wild hand gestures with his hands inside Emma’s red stilettos; Marzia and Signe had swapped clothes, and were forced to wear them inside out; Ken had four dicks drawn on various body parts; and Brad and Emma were staging an impromptu karate battle. Felix himself was wearing a _gorgeous_ Minnie Mouse bandana, and Sean had a piece of tape pressing his nose up.

A few minutes after midnight, the sugar rush died off a little and the party moved on to Seven Minutes In Heaven. Felix had a great time with Brad in the Love Closet, where he got one peck on the cheek for posterity, and spent the rest of the time dominating at Sticks. Marzia and Signe spent forty seconds too long in the closet and were subsequently deafened by hoots and catcalls. Felix took one look at the bright smile on Marzia’s face and felt his own expresison mirror it. 

‘Hell yeah,’ he muttered, and Sean tipped his head back on Felix’s shoulder to grin at him, equally happy. Felix knew that Sean and Signe had almost had a Thing themselves a few months ago, but something had happened. He hadn’t wanted to pry at the time and they seemed perfectly happy now, which was awesome. They were both great people.

When Mark and Amy were paired, Felix organised a general intervention (largely composed of throwing pillows) on the grounds that the group was already subjected to way too much making out between them already. PJ came out of the closet with a smirk and a massive smear of lipstick on his cheek, which Mary was completely failing to wipe away. Ken joked a lot about changing PJ’s name to Mr. Steal-Your-Woman. In short, everything was pretty chill, and when Sean got Felix’s name he didn’t think too much of it.

Flouncing into the closet, Felix just assumed that he and Sean would do the same thing as he’d done with Brad. Sean was whinging about how gross Felix’s beard was and yelping as he peeled off the sellotape stuck to his nose. PJ rolled the sliding door shut and Felix pawed blindly at one of Mark’s massive coats. He could hear PJ whispering to Emma and the two of them snickering as they returned to the lounge. Otherwise, the only sound was Sean cursing as he bashed into things.

Feeling evil, Felix sidled up behind Sean and slid his hands onto his shoulders, positioning his mouth right beside his ear. ‘It’s just you and me now, Sean,’ he croaked-whispered in his best demon voice. Sean cried out and started, before letting out unsurprisingly loud, high-pitched laughter and flailing his hands.

‘Ugh, that’s horrifying,’ he snickered. ‘Do you seduce all the girls like that, bro?’

Felix grinned smugly. ‘Just the pretty ones, baby.’

‘Fuck you! You Swedish bitch!’

‘Ah! I gave you a compliment, and that’s how you thank me?’ Felix asked dramatically, pressed a hand to his chest. ‘My heart is broken. You - you _hurt_ me, potato-san.’

‘Again with the potatoes!’ Sean complained, but the effect was ruined by his laugh at the end. ‘Racial profiling, Felix, it’s a slippery slope.’

Felix smiled into the dark, feeling his eyes crinkle. He loved this banter with Sean; when it happened, it definitely made his day brighter, and he loved looking back on it and feeling painfully happy. That was one of the things about his friendship with Sean - it felt almost different to all of his other friendships, more intense in a strange, unidentifiable way. Felix was so damn lucky to be friends with Sean, and he knew it.

‘Okay, so, one kiss so we can say we did it?’

He could hear Sean’s own eye-watering sweater rustle as he shrugged. ‘Sure, sounds good, bro. Then we can talk about the new horror games comin’ up. I’m _so_ ready for-’

Felix interrupted him with a loud tut. ‘Wow, potato-san, jumping the gun, much? Get over here. You bitch.’

‘Who’re you calling a bitch, _bitch_?’ Sean asked with a laugh. Felix felt him coming closer and unthinkingly took his hips in hand, feeling warm hands settle on his neck in return. 

‘Damn, Sean, is it just me, or is it getting… _hot_ in here?’ Felix asked suggestively, barely restraining a snicker. There was a strange anticipation drawing something tight in his chest. Almost like a combination of nervousness and excitement. What for, he had no idea.

‘Shut your hairy meatball face, Felix.’

‘Oh, you _wish_ you had my beard, you- you, ffff..etus,’ Felix stammered. Sean, of course, started laughing, and Felix shut him up in the most immediate way he could.

He bent down and kissed him.

The plan had been to draw back after a couple of seconds, following which Sean would hopefully drop Felix’s weak come-back and they could start talking games. But then Sean’s hands slid up into his hair at the same time that Felix pulled him closer, and he sort of just…forgot to stop. Sean wasn’t really helping with the way he was pressing up against him and kissing him slowly, sweetly; and the fact that Sean would have to go up on his tiptoes to even do that made Felix feel fuzzier than his wool sweater.

When it came, they barely even noticed the knock at the door.

–

PJ rapped his knuckles twice against the closet, winking spasmodically at Emma. Time to see if their plot had worked. It probably hadn’t, because real life didn’t work that way, but maybe - _maybe -_ the two idiots had made out. Even just a little.

‘Time’s up, kids!’ he called. ‘Come back to Earth! Heaven is closed!’

During the fifteen seconds of silence which followed, he traded significant looks with Emma. Maybe…just maybe?

Their attention snapped to the door, which slowly slid open to reveal a distinctly dazed, mussed Sean.

‘You,’ he began, pointing a slightly unsteady finger at them, his eyes half unfocused. ‘You leave. Right this second. We’re - we’re busy.’

Very slowly, the door rolled shut. 

PJ raised his eyebrows at a slightly stunned-looking Emma, grinning wildly. Talk about surpassed expectations!

After a moment of staring, Emma said: ‘I wonder if they’re ever gonna come out of that closet.’

They did. 

Eventually.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all so this ship consumed my soul
> 
> I still love Marzia and Signe, obviously, and I want the boys to do what makes them happy! Imagining this just makes me happy, for whatever reason. I also love their friendship and think their every interaction is adorable. I hope I haven't caused offence in any way with this - that is my last intention.
> 
> leave a review to stage a pillow-throwing intervention concerning a subject of your choice! or just to brighten my day :)


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